A Pause for Reflection: Embracing the Journey
Dear Friends,
It's been a while since our last conversation, and I've felt the weight of the silence more than you can imagine. The truth is, life has thrown a series of unexpected challenges my way this year, and it's time to share a bit of what's been happening behind the scenes.
The last email you received from me was back in May, and even a little before then, life has been an unpredictable rollercoaster. Every month seemed to have brought on a new challenge, starting with the loss of a cherished pet/family member, followed by a financial setback that hit hard, and then, in mid-September, my fiancé suffered from a major health event, adding another layer of complexity to an already difficult year. This is, of course, on top of the state of the world and the atrocities that have been unfolding every week to seemingly no end. I had to stop myself from asking, “What else?” Did I actually want an answer? Not really.
This cascade of events pushed me into a deep depression. For someone who prefers to keep their struggles private, navigating through these difficulties has been an immense challenge. I've always strived to keep our interactions positive, focusing on only the pretty things. However, in my darkest moments, I've found myself shutting down, not wanting to burden others with my struggles; I’m aware that I am not the only one going through a tough time, and I try to not think only of myself. As you’ll probably notice from time to time, I have a tendency to overshare, and that’s not always a wonderful quality to have on display while in the moment. Every time I started to tell anyone why I was so stressed, I would immediately think of Erika telling Kyle about Tom’s house getting broken into (IYKYK). The unfortunate alternative to that is that I share too little (or not at all), which is often my go-to approach, and instead, I would spend hours in bed doom-scrolling, which was obviously helpful to no one. Mais c’est la vie.
Anytime anyone asks me how I’ve been lately:
To make ends meet, I returned to a job I’d had before for part-time work outside of the studio, a decision that wasn't easy but necessary. I've leaned heavily on the support of loved ones as we navigate through these more difficult times while I work to build the business. Honestly, I had major feelings about this. It started to feel like I was failing and losing everything in such a short amount of time before it even got the chance to really begin, and having to ask for help when I felt like I should be able to help myself has always been something I’ve struggled with. I was embarrassed by how I felt it would look to the people who have been extremely supportive of me and of the brand in so many amazing ways and who have invested in getting this 20+ year dream of mine to succeed. Of course, today I’ve had a cup of Tension Tamer tea, and I’m in a better place so I realize I may have been a little over dramatic about the situation; at the time it felt like yet another setback and the repeat of old cycles I thought I had finally broken from.
To those I've planned collaborations with, I want to offer a sincere apology for my distance and lack of follow-up. It wasn't a reflection of our potential partnership but a result of personal struggles that overwhelmed me. I deeply appreciate your patience and support as I work to do better going forward.
Now, let's talk about something positive, something that fills me with excitement and hope for the future—the 'Safari 1979' collection. Originally planned for release this year, it will now launch as Spring/Summer 2024 ahead of the spring season—really this time! Despite the delays, the pieces are shaping up beautifully, and I can't wait to share them with you. Truthfully, the collection has been 98% finished since mid-August, but it made more sense to me at the time to postpone the launch which allowed me to take the time to fine-tune my vision and give it a proper launch. Fellow Virgos tap in!
I started developing the collection around this time last year while I was finalizing the Winter/Pre-Spring 2023 collection—a soft rebranding of what was meant to be Fall/Winter 2022—which set me off to a good start in order to launch in March or April of this year, but alas. I’m so excited about finally being able to share this collection with you and it is my hope that you’ll see how far we have come over these few short years. To know that all of the trial and error, all of the times I had to unpick a seam and start again, and every success and hardship has led to what is probably one of my favorite collections I’ve designed in recent years which emerged through some of the most difficult times in recent memory. The spirit of the collection—a hallucination of an open-air Studio 54 in the middle of the jungle, where Bianca Jagger arrives on the back of an elephant to the soundtrack of Boney M’s ‘Rasputin’—is that of care-free joy, optimism, and a curious sense of adventure that I hope to inspire, especially as we continuously live through historic events. We’re all so tired so let’s just embrace taking little moments between adulting, peopleing, and staying informed to disassociate with clothes and make-believe like many of us have been doing since we were children.
Another exciting piece of news: I'll be showcasing a preview of the 'Safari 1979' collection at Zest Fest 2 in a runway presentation alongside other local talented designers on January 27, 2024. This event marks a celebration of creativity, resilience, and the collective strength we find in art and our first runway show! As Fresno’s premier art & fashion festival celebrating the local collective of artists, vendors, and designers of California’s Central Valley, Zest Fest is celebrating its second year of this annual event and I am so honored to have been asked to participate and continue to build community with my fellow local creatives. To learn more about Zest Fest and to purchase tickets to the event, please visit the website here. If you’re in the area, I hope to see you there!
Thank you for your unwavering support and for allowing me to share with you a more vulnerable part of my journey. I'm looking forward to brighter days ahead and to continue creating and connecting with all of you.
With gratitude and hope,
Bryan van Haughton
